The atmosphere within the confines of Asrama remained unaffected by the passage of time, keeping its familiar rhythm. Gradually, the inner turmoil that had been swirling within me calmed, leaving me with a sense of inner peace. The primary source of pressure continued to be the realm of academics, especially the impending PMR examination. In all other aspects of life, tranquillity prevailed.
As per tradition, the annual Sports and Academic Festival involving various Asrama institutions took place in the middle of the academic year. This time, the responsibility of hosting fell on KJ Asrama. Although I had earned recognition in the previous year's carom competition, I had no expectation of reprising that role. Such matters, however, held little significance to me as I was content with a quiet existence, avoiding the allure of attention or special privileges.
One evening, Encik Zul gathered the students in the hall for the customary participant selection ritual in preparation for the upcoming KJ competition. As he read out the list of chosen students, I remained unfazed until my name was called as Asrama's representative in the Mathematics and Science Quiz competition. A wave of disbelief washed over me because I considered myself an ordinary choice compared to more academically accomplished peers.
A persistent question lingered in my mind. Why had Puan Zaidah, who barely knew of my existence, selected me over students she had a more substantial acquaintance with? Our interactions had never gone beyond brief exchanges during my time in Asrama. Perhaps, word of my previous district-level success had reached her ears, prompting her to extend this opportunity to me. Whatever the reason, I felt deeply grateful for this chance to compete alongside Maro and two other female students.
As I contemplated my own capabilities, I could foresee a path filled with challenges that surpassed any I had faced before. While my fellow competitors would encounter their unique difficulties, I realized that my journey would be different, with its own peculiar trials.
Despite this understanding, a lingering sense of apprehension clung to me. Doubts crept in, making me worry that I might not be adequately prepared for the high expectations. In those moments, I turned to prayer for solace and sought divine guidance and blessings.
To my surprise, my role extended beyond the quiz competition to include volleyball. Though I was a reserve player, I had never expected to step onto the playing field. The impending quiz match loomed over me, overshadowing any concerns about my role in the volleyball team.
My greatest worry was the possibility of leading Asrama's esteemed quiz team to defeat, a team known for its excellence. The memory of our team's triumph in the quiz competition the previous year, with Maro as a distinguished participant, remained vivid. I couldn't shake the haunting fear that this year's competition might not end in victory, and I might bear the blame for our loss.
Furthermore, this marked the moment when my previously inconspicuous life would be scrutinized. While I had always advocated for modesty and avoided the spotlight, I now found myself thrust into the limelight, needing to prove my worth to others. I refused to resign myself to being just another face in the crowd and nurtured a desire for recognition that stirred within me. These rising expectations enveloped me in a whirlwind of unease, with the opinions of others occupying my thoughts. Did I have what it takes to conquer these challenges and overcome my deepest fears?
As we made our way to KJ Asrama, I marvelled at the grandeur and magnitude of this institution, filling my eyes with wonder. It was clear that KJ Asrama surpassed not only in size but also in grandeur, evoking a sense of awe unlike the Asrama facilities I was accustomed to. Its impressive architecture, spacious design, and captivating allure gave it the appearance of a college campus, yet it retained the distinctive ambiance of Asrama. Every encounter, whether it was a restroom or a surau, left me entranced by its vastness and splendour.
The period before the quiz match was filled with restlessness and anxiety. My diligent efforts to prepare by studying a science treatise were no match for the nervousness that had taken hold of me, scattering my thoughts. Maro, the intellectual prodigy whom I had admired from afar, remained calm and composed, a stark contrast to my inner turmoil. I hoped that his remarkable intellect would compensate for any shortcomings I might bring to the competition.
As the designated time for the afternoon's Zohor prayer signalled the start of the contest, a sense of apprehension washed over me. An unusual unease gripped me, a feeling that was hard to explain. Unlike my previous experiences as a school representative, I now carried the banner of Asrama, knowing that my performance would be closely watched by an audience familiar with my face. In this crucible of scrutiny, the consequences of my mistakes felt insurmountable.
Despite my reservations, I found myself among the three contestants chosen for the quiz round, a development I accepted with a sense of bewildered determination. Alongside me was a formidable female student known for her mathematical prowess. In comparison, I felt inadequate. The presence of reserve participants added an air of uncertainty to our situation, complicating our prospects. In the event of any mishap, a legacy could be altered, a significant burden to bear.
Finally, the much-anticipated quiz contest began, pitting three teams against each other: KL, KJ, and JB. Our JB Asrama team consisted of myself as the second contestant, Maro as the third, and a female student as the lead. Questions arose, and time for contemplation was scarce. My heart raced with anticipation.
Standing on the stage, I looked out at the enthusiastic audience, feeling an unexplained shiver down my spine. An indescribable unease enveloped me, a sentiment that was hard to put into words. Unlike my previous experiences as a school representative, I now represented Asrama, and the weight of this responsibility was heavy on my conscience. The more discerning audience, familiar with my face, scrutinized my every word, and I couldn't escape their judgment.
Despite my unease, I was thrust into the midst of the quiz competition as one of the three participants. By my side was a brilliant female student known for her mathematical prowess. Compared to her, I felt like the weakest link, a feeling intensified by the presence of reserve participants whose role remained mysterious. With each question, I struggled to focus my thoughts and channel my cognitive abilities while battling inner doubt.
The questions, spanning Mathematics and Science, were complex and demanding. I tried to solve the intricate problems as quickly as possible while dealing with my nerves. Fortunately, I performed well, boosted by the support of our loyal JB Asrama team members.
The penultimate question, which would determine the winner between KJ and JB, brought a wave of tension to the room. KL, having fallen behind from the start, was no longer a contender. As the host institution, KJ seemed to enjoy a home-field advantage, with their teachers acting as judges. A sense of unfairness hung in the air.
The final question, a complex Science query, was of great significance:
"What is the most effective method of contraception?"
As a teenager with no personal experience in the matter, I could only provide a technical response: the ligation and severance technique. Surprisingly, KL, my competitors, agreed with my answer. In stark contrast, KJ advocated for the contraceptive pill. To my disappointment, the latter answer was deemed correct, and victory was awarded to them. Maro and I couldn't shake the suspicion that the competition had been tainted by prior collusion with KJ's allies, their endorsement of the contraceptive pill serving as a prelude to a dubious triumph.
Upon learning that I had contributed the most points to our team's score, I felt a sense of relief. Victory had eluded us, but I held no blame. What mattered was that we had given our best effort.
At a certain moment, I found myself at the centre of Asrama's collective attention—a feeling of unexplainable joy washed over me, accompanied by a mysterious smile. It was an emotion typical of the teenage transition into early adulthood, and I hoped it would blossom into a beautiful feeling, like a bouquet of soothing colours cradling my spirit in contentment and grace. However, it eventually dissolved into the realm of illusion, a fleeting mirage. In truth, nothing out of the ordinary had occurred.
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