For four long years, my time in the Asrama brought about numerous changes. It was a life far from the comforts of home, a divergence I hadn't anticipated. Here, I had the responsibility for my choices thrust upon my young shoulders, a significant burden. I often wondered if it was appropriate for an adolescent to navigate critical junctures without the guidance of family.
My decision to continue my education in the Asrama was influenced more by my success in the UPSR exams than I'd like to admit. Hailing from a rural background, I took great pride in achieving highest scores in academic tests. During that time, mental sharpness, unwavering diligence, and determined perseverance were the only means to academic success. Fortunately, I found myself excelling in these areas.
To my surprise, I emerged as a top performer in the UPSR exams. Unfortunately, I hadn't reached such heights within my school. During that period, my focus shifted from academics to more immature pursuits like joyriding on motorcycles, fishing, and swimming in the river. My textbooks collected dust as I wasted precious time on frivolous activities.
However, amidst this general laziness, there was one exception - my proficiency in Mathematics. I cannot explain how I possessed such an extraordinary talent, but I was unequivocally the best in this subject, reaching the pinnacle of my school's math ranks. Regardless of the complexity of mathematical problems, I could solve them with ease. Achieving perfection in this discipline was not uncommon for me, with only occasional lapses in attention causing me to miss a point or two. My math skills set me apart academically, despite my average performance in other subjects.
So, when a teacher informed me that I had received straight A's in the UPSR exams, I was dumbfounded. The revelation left me completely astonished because I had never aspired to such academic heights. How a student who wasn't among the top ten could be counted among the top seven achievers was a mystery to me. Nevertheless, I felt elated and grateful for this unexpected blessing.
It was from this elevated position that I saw a divine sign, guiding me toward life in the Asrama. After this unforeseen triumph, I began to perceive a subtle design crafted by destiny. It seemed that my path had been set from the beginning, destined to spend my adolescent years within the Asrama's walls.
My time in this place was not always filled with joy or beauty. My fellow students and I, with no older peers to torment us, were spared the troubles that often came with senior students. In the Asrama, seniors were usually feared, as their apparent maturity often concealed their inclination to bully juniors. Their absence gave my friends and me the chance to enjoy our teenage years without their shadow.
However, divine retribution took the form of Encik Hussin, our warden - a terrifying figure whose exploits I've recounted in previous chapters. Just remembering his name sent shivers down my spine, like an electric shock to a Parkinson's patient.
During those formative years, Encik Hussin's presence was oppressive. I often contemplated the cruel hand of fate that had placed me under his care as a young student. His influence was like that of fifty senior students, and even now, his demeanour continues to bother me.
Life under his authoritarian rule was almost unbearable at the tender ages of thirteen and fourteen. I regretted accepting the Asrama's offer despite my mother's advice. Fortunately, I was not alone in my suffering, as my fellow students shared the burden of dealing with Encik Hussin's strict discipline. The impending freedom that came with the end of Form 2 was a welcome relief. I prayed that I would never have to encounter anyone like Encik Hussin again. The ordeals of those two preceding years were etched in my memory.
Continuing in the Asrama with Encik Hussin as our warden until the end of Form 5 would have been a disaster. Parting ways in Form 4 became the only choice. Subjecting ourselves to two more years of his strict rule would have been a mistake I'd always regret. Fate, however, had other plans and saw fit to bid farewell to Encik Hussin.
His absence during Form 3 was a tremendous blessing, allowing me to mature as an adolescent. It was as if a veil had been lifted, revealing a path to happiness that had been obscured before. Life in the Asrama took on a smoother and more pleasant trajectory.
Form 3 was a time of enrichment in my life. The atmosphere was filled with positivity, especially in academics. During this period, I reached the pinnacle of academic achievement.
This was a stark contrast to the previous year when academics were not a priority. My newfound dedication to academic excellence marked a significant shift. I embraced a commitment to excellence that pushed all other concerns to the sidelines.
Form 3 emerged as a peak in my life. Without Encik Hussin, my academic pursuits flourished, making the Asrama environment more enjoyable. I grew fond of the charm of the Asrama.
Looking back, my memories of life in the Asrama have a rosy tint. A place once filled with boredom and despair now appears in my mind as an enchanting European botanical garden, a testament to Allah's benevolence. The challenges of the first two years were the crucible in which my subsequent excellence was forged.
As Form 3 came to an end, I achieved another significant milestone, one that filled me with gratitude. This time, the pursuit of excellence was not a capricious whim but a goal pursued with unwavering determination and single-minded focus. I channeled all my energy and abilities into this singular ambition.
Allah, in His boundless benevolence, answered my fervent prayers. The countless requests I had made to Him were finally granted, a testament to His love for a humble supplicant who dared to dream big. The trials I had endured with a heart free of bitterness had found their worth, epitomized by the excellence I had achieved.
Yet, amidst the joy of my achievement, there was a note of disappointment. My dream of enrolling in a prestigious MRSM school was shattered by divine decree. Despite meeting all the requirements, an acceptance letter from SBP, which was a technicality I hadn't considered, left me disheartened and empty. I questioned the ups and downs of life, overwhelmed by sadness and regret. My sorrow and frustration prevented me from seeing the profound reality of Allah's divine plan.
It wasn't until Form 4, which is drawing to a close, that I found solace in my beliefs. Emotions, turbulent and confusing, surrounded me as my peers pursued various paths to academic success while I remained in the Asrama, grappling with existential questions.
During this time, few notable incidents stood out in my Asrama life. Periods of unexplained unease occasionally overcame me, clouding my judgment and obscuring my priorities. As a maturing adolescent in the Asrama, I surrendered myself to Allah's guidance and mercy, recognizing the wisdom hidden in this unique crucible.
So, I present this concise account of my four-year Asrama journey. I encountered various individuals, some of whom left lasting impressions, while others passed by without forming a connection. Unfortunately, my ego often hindered me from forming lasting bonds, a testament to my excessive pride at the time.
In my pursuit of the best, I knew that Allah was the ultimate arbiter of outcomes. Gradually, I resolved to adopt a more accepting attitude toward life in the Asrama, diligently seeking to uncover its hidden beauty. The Asrama surely held unique treasures, and it was up to me to discover them if I had the determination to do so.
During the year-end break, I reorganized my life, fully aware of the upcoming challenges in the coming year. A significant trial awaited me—the SPM examination, scheduled for the year's end. Regardless of my state of preparedness, the inevitable moment was approaching. It marked the culmination of three crucial exams, with the previous two marked by remarkable success. Expectations, especially those of my family, were high as they anticipated a repeat of academic excellence.
Without much introspection, I solemnly resolved to dedicate myself entirely to academics in the coming year. The Asrama environment in Form 4 had not been conducive to other pursuits, making academic excellence my most reliable ally. I passionately aspired to excel, knowing that the path ahead would be challenging and demanding. Nevertheless, my determination remained unshaken, and my hope continued to burn brightly.
As I grappled with the impending SPM examination, anxiety and stress coursed through my veins. This exam represented the culmination of the previous two trials. Having established myself as a top performer in the UPSR and PMR exams, expectations, especially from my family, had reached new heights.
Aware of the arduous journey ahead, I resolved to transform into a dedicated student, with the firm belief that the upcoming year would witness my remarkable change. The Asrama, which had failed to reveal its full splendor, would now become the crucible of my destiny, where I would carve my path to academic excellence.
In the end, I remembered that destiny's design remained a mystery, a tapestry yet to be unfolded in the winding corridors of the Asrama.
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